Do No Harm, Not Even To Yourself

My favorite people are those who consider the impact of their words and actions before speaking, writing, or taking action. They use their words to support and heal. They act in ways that reflect how deeply they care for others. And they use a light hand with those they love.

It’s how they operate in the world, and how they operate internally. They know that how we’re treated begins with us.

A quote from my dear friend Dorothy Rupert sums this up beautifully for me. “Do no harm,” Dorothy says. “Not even to yourself.”

What would happen if we all became aware of the toxic thoughts we direct toward ourselves and replaced them with more positive messages? Would we feel better about ourselves and be able to put more kindness into the world?

Replacing Criticism With Compassion

This week, try to be conscious of how you speak to yourself. Are you diminishing yourself or giving yourself the message that you don’t deserve any better than what you’re currently experiencing?

Pay attention to how your words feel in your body. Do you feel loved or do you tense up?

Rephrase your thoughts the way you would if you were directing them toward a friend. Let your words and thoughts come from a place of love.














Six Ways to Go Old School This Summer

IMG_6539For most of the year, we’re in a rush.

We’re filling up our calendars. We’re accomplishing. We’re wearing ourselves out.

Instant gratification takes too long.

—Carrie Fisher

But in the summer, we seem to do one important thing right: we slow down. It’s the time of year when we reconnect with ourselves and others. We take vacations. Breathe. Enjoy our lives.

And then, in the blink of an eye, it’s over, and we spend the rest of the year looking forward to our next summer vacation.

This summer, let’s take an opportunity to slow down a few days a week—and then take some of these habits into the rest of the year.

Six Ways To Go Old School

When it comes to relishing my life, my mantra is “go old school.”

Here are six old-school ways to help bring back the magic of childhood and reconnect with ourselves, our friends, and our family. Have old-school practices that bring back your childhood and make you feel centered? Please add them as comments.

  1. Have family dinner at least once a week. Light a candle to make the meal feel special. Eat slowly. Sit around the table after the meal and visit.
  2. Walk barefoot. On the grass. In the sand. At home.
  3. Ride your bike instead of driving. Walk to dinner. Stop by a neighbor’s house on the way home and visit.
  4. Go on a picnic. I like to bring a picnic basket for the sheer romance of it, but you can just bring a blanket and a sandwich if you want. And when summer is over, move the picnic indoors. I turn off all the lights and picnic in front of my fireplace.
  5. Put down your electronic devices and play cards.
  6. Build a campfire. Sit around and tell stories, sing, or play games.




Every Day, We Predict Our Future

perspectiveThe successful people I know have one thing in common. They focus their energy differently than those who remain in a rut.

And while this sounds simple, it’s worth taking a look at how the ways they focus their energy predict their future:

  • A successful person—whether in business, relationships or in any aspect of life—sees opportunities where others see roadblocks. When something doesn’t work, she pivots, makes some adjustments, tries again.

    “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”

    —Henry Ford

  • She bonds with others over solutions, not over problems. When she talks with her friends, she may vent for a bit. But, because she doesn’t want to become deeply entrenched in misery—and perhaps stuck there indefinitely—she quickly shifts into solution mode.
  • She accepts responsibility. She doesn’t point fingers or find excuses. Rather, the solution starts from within herself. She views “rejection as an opportunity to adjust and improve, embracing the chance to learn, grow and try again,” says Bert Jacobs, co-founder of Life is Good, a company that started in the 1980s with $78 in the bank and grew its sales to more than $100 million by 2016.
  • She assumes that she has the ability to create the life she wants, to steer her own ship, rather than simply accept an unfortunate circumstance as fate. She’s more Tigger than Eeyore.










Rituals for Healing


It was,

like an old friend at a high school reunion,

unrecognizable at first.


Those I love

had assured me

that it existed.


And so,




I trusted the rituals I knew

would save me.


I walked

the treads of my shoes smooth.

Wrote in my journal,

crying myself dry.

Surrounded the tub with candles

And soaked my deadened soul.


I trusted the process. Believed,

even when

I had no faith.


And then, joy made its way to me,

held my hand,

and asked me to dance.









Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash

When I look at you,

whether in the moment

or from a state of remembering,

I see the steadiness of a man who—

like an ox with a cart—

sets out, head down, through the knee-deep mud

that is the day’s work.


One who will use a misstep to

redouble his effort—

and recommit his integrity—to the task at hand.

One who will lower his horns

and accept the yoke

that will help him

better serve his life’s purpose.


When I look at you,

whether in the moment

or from a state of remembering,

I see steadiness.

Creating Your Future

Photo by michael podger on Unsplash


What if—like a spider—

creating and re-creating

were necessary

for your survival?


Would you doubt

your ability to weave

an intricate, magnificent web?


Would you be too busy

or say

you don’t have the skills?


Or would you realize that,

like the spider,

everything you need to create your web

comes from within you?


Time is of the essence.

So the spider decides what kind of web it needs,

produces silk threads and

gets to work.


It is only

when the web is complete

that the spider sits

and waits.


What kind of geometric wonder

would you create for yourself

if you could create anything?

If your survival depended on it?


Read about how to start creating your future.